The Risk of Forgiveness

When confronted with the opportunity to forgive someone, would you? Some may say that it depends on the gravity of the act or circumstance. Others may argue that it depends on the person's disposition. The spiritual and carnal drama involved in offering forgiveness to someone can be a burden when the person hurt is someone you love, like your wife, husband, child, relative, or close friend. Even more, when the act is heinous or violent in nature, it results in psychological, emotional, or spiritual drama, or worse, the loss of life. Whatever the context, forgiving someone from a strictly human perspective poses a challenge because it requires the person offering forgiveness to surrender their anger, distrust, hurt, and thoughts of retribution for the sake of peace and, hopefully, healing.

The genesis of the act of forgiveness can be traced to the very beginning of creation, where God confronts Adam and Eve after the first act of disobedience. Instead of destroying Adam and Eve, which He could have, God instead forgives them and offers them a penance that they would carry with them throughout their lifetime. The dialogue between God and Adam and Eve is both redemptive and penitential in nature. God provides Adam and Eve the opportunity to make amends for their sin with the loss of the original grace given to them; now, both must endure a life with the assistance of this initial blessing from God, and now endure the encounter the hardships of life, the daily struggle between good and evil.

Our human condition is comprised of spirit (soul) and matter (body), and within this relationship between matter and form exists the intellect and will that guide our actions towards good or evil. The development of our intellect and will leads to another important attribute that all of us possess, the conscience. The Catechism articulates the conscience as follows:

Deep within his conscience, man discovers a law which he has not laid upon himself but which he must obey. Its voice, ever calling him to love and to do what is good and to avoid evil, sounds in his heart at the right moment.… For man has in his heart a law inscribed by God.… His conscience is man’s most secret core and his sanctuary. There he is alone with God whose voice echoes in his depths.^[1]

What purpose does the conscience serve in the act of forgiving someone? The simple answer is that God made us to forgive one another as He forgives our sins through His Son, Jesus Christ, in death, and carried forth through the institution of the sacrament of reconciliation by Christ. The entire formula of forgiveness as instituted by Christ Himself is based on the salvation of the soul to not be enslaved to the sin of death. It also reveals the act of mercy as a necessary virtue, so that we will not be enslaved by the sin of vengeance or retribution for the wrongs done to us by another person. This is what the Catechism articulates as the judgment of reason whereby the human person recognizes the moral quality of a concrete act that he is going to perform; man is obliged to follow faithfully what he knows to be just and right.[2]

Our understanding of exercising right judgment is further amplified through one of the central petitions of the “Our Father,” the Lord’s Prayer, where we are reminded that even though we have received the sacrament of baptism, it does not prevent us from sinning. We will still engage in the spiritual calamity that is the battle between good and evil. And, we will fall to certain vices, temptations, e.g., sins that, for a brief moment, propose to be more satisfying than God’s love through His son Jesus Christ. Every time we sin, we have the opportunity to be received by God through Jesus Christ in our own prodigal journey. This entire symphony of forgiveness has no effect unless we can forgive the person responsible for the affliction. It is painful to forgive someone; this is the risk one takes when faced with a decision to forgive someone you would rather not. The Catechism articulates this risk in the following way,

Now—and this is daunting—this outpouring of mercy cannot penetrate our hearts as long as we have not forgiven those who have trespassed against us. Love, like the Body of Christ, is indivisible; we cannot love the God we cannot see if we do not love the brother or sister we do see. In refusing to forgive our brothers and sisters, our hearts are closed, and their hardness makes them impervious to the Father’s merciful love; but in confessing our sins, our hearts are opened to his grace.^[3]

The risk of forgiveness requires a life of beatitude, as Jesus proclaims in the Mount of Beatitudes to be perfect as your heavenly Father is perfect.[4] When faced with the opportunity to forgive someone, on a human level, there may be a myriad of emotions that affect one’s ability to make the right judgment. One may argue that the action committed is unforgivable, and that might be the initial reaction. The risk of forgiveness requires spiritual restraint to properly understand the action committed against the person. Part of this act of restraint is rooted in prayer.

Christian prayer extends to the forgiveness of enemies, transfiguring the disciple by configuring him to his Master. Forgiveness is a high-point of Christian prayer; only hearts attuned to God’s compassion can receive the gift of prayer. Forgiveness also bears witness that, in our world, love is stronger than sin. The martyrs of yesterday and today bear this witness to Jesus. Forgiveness is the fundamental condition of the reconciliation of the children of God with their Father and of men with one another.^[5]

The risk of forgiveness is that you will no longer be a slave to vengeance, hatred, or anger. It means that you will have to rely on the love and mercy of Christ more than your own human desires to hate, berate, and chastise the person or persons who committed the grave injustice against you. The risk of forgiveness is that you are no longer a slave to the evil inflicted upon you, your family, and friends. The risk of forgiveness unites you more intimately with Christ and allows you the opportunity to bear the suffering of Christ through the human pain of forgiving someone, and the grace that accompanies the act of forgiveness, which allows you to be embraced by Christ and His infinite love.

God does not accept the sacrifice of a sower of disunion, but commands that he depart from the altar so that he may first be reconciled with his brother. For God can be appeased only by prayers that make peace. To God, the better offering is peace, brotherly concord, and a people made one in the unity of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.^[6]